i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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