so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
