Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
