i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
