Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think people are normalizing furries
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
