wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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