This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
