All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
