I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
