she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
