whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
