i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
