I got chris browned last night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
