I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
