An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
