I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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