i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
