is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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