That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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