Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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