I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
