Plan B is the new Plan A
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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