she was so not down for the gang bang
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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