someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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