just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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