lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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