I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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