I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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