Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
