Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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