Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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