If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
