Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
