Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
