your parents love me but you hate me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
