Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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