He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
