Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
