she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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