Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
