Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
