Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
time to smoke my breakfast
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
