fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
