I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
