her vagine was all disorganized.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
