I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
