In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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