I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
