he wants to bone in the snuggie
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He better not be in your backpack
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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