Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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