He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
