I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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